Помогите,пожалуйста с CONCLUSION? и проверьте эссе в целом. Experience of my life My name...

Question

Помогите,пожалуйста с CONCLUSION? и проверьте эссе в целом.

Experience of my life

My name is Anna. I am 18 years old. I am from Russia. I find myself a powerful person. Becoming me as a strong personality began in childhood when I started to play volleyball. Our team had to "fight for place" in the starting lineup, where you must show leadership qualities. Doing this sport for a long time, I have become stronger and smarter person. I can also add that I learned very well to adapt fast to the situation, I can feel where I can say something, comment, add and where I shouldn't do it. What is more, I am very emotional, but a lot of feelings I keep inside. In a stressful situation for some time I can be suppressed like any another person, but I try to treat everything positive. Besides, I am very caution. Before I do something, I think about future repercussion. Nevertheless, one should accept that I am purposeful. If I have a goal, I will achieve the goal any ways and any methods. Despite any qualities, I am afraid of the terrible situations that can happen in our lives. So, this story will be about the fear of my life.

I had some experience in my life when I was really scared. It happened in Los Angeles in 2010. It was summer time. I have been studying English in a language school. When I arrived from school to my home, I went to cafe. One guy fixedly looked at me for a long time... I thought: "It is ok! It is not a reason for worry". I have just decided to change this cafe to a different place. When I went out, he went with me. I was in shock. In a result, I decided to come back home. This guy followed me and shouted something. I began to run where I saw people. When he saw that I haven't already been alone, he stopped to go after me. Then I came home and couldn't believe that this situation happened to me. I can't even imagine what would happen if I didn't see the people and wouldn't go in their direction. I remember that after this incident, I was depressed for a long time. I never told anyone of close people about it. I didn't want them to be worry. Nowadays, I am so happy that everything ended good and I'm scared to be solitary in unknown places.

I have changed as a person and I can feel the changes myself. I became to see many situations in my life on the other hand. For example, before when I listened something about similar situations, I didn't understand all... So, I became more careful to my life. I began to appreciate life more. Now I try not to walk alone in the evening in unfamiliar places. We can't know everything that can happen to us, so we need to value every moment.

To sum up, I believe that we will finally solve all our problems and will live happily. We must take good care of our life and be careful everywhere.

Answer 1

My name is Anna. I am 18 years old. I am from Russia. I find myself a powerful person. Getting a strong personality began for me in my childhood when I started playing volleyball. Our team had to "fight for its place" in the starting lineup, where you must show leadership qualities. Doing this sport for a long time, I have become a stronger and smarter person. I can also add that I have learnt very well to adapt fast to circumstances, I can feel when I can say something, comment, add and when I shouldn't do it. What is more, I am very emotional, but I keep inside a lot of emotions. In a stressful situation I can be suppressed for some time like any another person, but I try to percept everything in a positive way. Besides, I am very cautious. Before doing something, I think about the outcome. Nevertheless, one should see that I am purposeful. If I have a goal, I would achieve it by all means. With all these qualities, I am still afraid of terrible situations that I may face in life. So, this story is be about a fear of my life. I had an experience in my life when I was really scared. It happened in Los Angeles in 2010. It was summer time. I was studying English at a language school. When I had come back home from school, I went to a cafe. Some guy kept looking at me for a long time... I thought: "It is OK! There's no reason to worry". I simply decided to go to another place. When I went out, he followed me. I was in a shock, so I decided to go back home. The guy was following me and shouting something. I began to run to a place where there where some people. When he saw that I wasn't alone anymore, he stopped going after me. When I came home and couldn't believe that such an incident had happened to me. I can't even imagine what would have happened if I hadn't seen the people and hadn't walked towards them. I remember that after this incident, I was depressed for a long time. I have never told any of my close ones about it. I didn't want them to worry. Now, I am so happy that everything ended well but now I feel scared of deserted lifless places. I have changed as a person and I can see how I have changed. I have started to look at many situations in my life in a different way. Earlier, for example, when I listened to somebody describing similar situations, I didn't fully understand that... So, I have become more careful in my life. Now I appreciate life more thoughtfully. I try to avoid walking alone in the evening in places unfamiliar to me. We can't predict everything that may happen to us, so we need to value every moment. To sum it up, I believe that we will finally solve all our problems and will live happily. We must take good care of our lives and be careful everywhere. На скорую руку.