Доброго времени суток. Проверьте, пожалуйста, ** правильность.(если есть ошибки, помогите...

Question

Доброго времени суток. Проверьте, пожалуйста, на правильность.(если есть ошибки, помогите исправить. Заранее благодарю.
ABOUT MYSELF.
My name is *. My surname is *. I am 18. I was born in 1999 in Kumertau. I live in a small village of Yumaguzino in the Bashkortostan Republic. My address is house 22, Equality Street. My phone number is 2-42-61. I am a student. I study at the Aviation University.
I like to read novels, listen to rock music. I have not much time to watch TV but sometimes I spend an hour or two watching an interesting film. In the evening 1 often read books. I like the fresh air, so I often walk.
I'm an unsociable person, so I do not have many friends. But these people are devotees, they will never leave me in trouble. We spend much time together going .
My mom is a housewife. She is a very talented woman. She has golden hands.
My father is a boiler room operator. He is very experienced. Practically for any question he knows the answer.
Also I have two brothers. The senior is a mechanical engineer. Works in the North, so we do not see each other often. The younger is fond of programming. And he really likes it.

I really miss my family.

Answer 1

My address is Equality Street, 22.
I do not have much time to watch TV, but sometimes...
I often read books in the evening (s). 
I often go outside for a walk to get a breath of fresh air.
I'm an introverted person, so I not have many friends.
Если это formal writing, то не начинай предложение с but. Чтобы не делать предыдущее предложение слишком длинным, можешь написать 
However, they are very loyal to me and I am positive that they will never leave me alone. 
We spend much time together going...? Ты имеешь ввиду гулять? Тогда можно сказать We like to spend time together and hang out a lot after school. 
My father knows the answers for nearly all the questions he is being asked.
The older one is a mechanical engineer. He works in the North (ты имеешь ввиду на Севере?), so we don not see each other often. 
The younger one is fond of programming. (And he really likes it это одно и тоже, могу посоветовать написать о том, почему ему это нравиться)
I really miss my family. Напиши еще 1-2 предложения в конце как заключение. Например, о том как ты скучаешь по семье и думаешь полететь к ним на каникулы.

Я бы еще посоветовала не писать маленькие предложения когда ты можешь соединить их в одно.
I am a student in Aviation University. 
My father is a very experienced boiler room operator. 
My mother is a housewife with golden hands.